My views on drinking and drugs are not common and not share by many. Let's start with the hard stuff.
Drugs ~
Um yes I have experimented with drugs. Do I want to it again? No but I was a Freshman and was wanting to try things. As far as weed being used for medical reasons fine but however put extreme limits on it. I do not even like Advil. Below are the only pills I have now. I like to bust these when I need a moment of happiness. Yes you really can buy these. Do not consume them though and no I haven't tried.
Drinking ~
When my parents didn't care if I drank or not because we traveled to different countries where it wasn't a big deal I didn't get drunk. I was good. Then college hit and it was like free for all.
And as for now when I get drunk. It's usually not on purpose. Sometimes it just happens. So yeah I drink.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
100 Questions No One Asks
QUESTIONS: BONUS JONAS QUESTION: something that happened to you in middle school.
My crush went on a date with me because I did his Math homework.
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Yes
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Both I prefer in though.
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Can't say I even knew that was a thing.
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yup I have special ones!
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Sometimes. I use a good bit of mine.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Well let's see Bees... There's a chance of me living with that one
8:Do you have freckles?
No
9:Do you always smile for pictures?
No I don't
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
Exaggerating, people who don't keep their dogs on leashes, tied, or in a fence (seriously pisses me off my German Shepherd didn't ask your freaking dog to come to her fence), people who ask inane questions in class when it's time to go, cursing in public place where kids are (P.S. Black chick in line behind me in Target nobody cares that you feel like you were a booty call to that pile of shit you dumped.), Flip Flop wearers that have cracked feet. I managed to wear sandals and flip flops and do not have that problem, lotion at night people!
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Only going up stairs
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yes
13:What about pooped in the woods?
Can't say I have. Now in a bucket going down the interstate is a different story.
14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Yes
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Nope
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
Sexually? Just Odette. Lmao Jk. Jk
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
In a tub of glitter
23:What do you drink with dinner?
Depends
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
All kinds of sauces
25:What is your favorite food?
Italian and chicken
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Gone with the Wind, The Outsiders, Brief Encounter, Walk to Remember, The Rules of Attraction, Wake, and Beauty and the Beast
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Honestly? Hunter A kiss that meant something? Frankie
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yes
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I won't say no completely
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Two days ago so my baby sister could receive snail mail.
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope I get Hunter to do it.
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope. I get out of them all the time.
33:Ever ran out of gas?
No
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Anything fancy
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Waffles and chicken
36:What is your usual bedtime?
Depends on where I am in my book
37:Are you lazy?
I can be.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I went as many different things, princess, angel, Britney Spears,
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Snake
40:How many languages can you speak?
5
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
5
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
43:Are you stubborn?
Yes
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Leno but Jimmy Fallon will be the best! ---- I agree
45:Ever watch soap operas?
I did in college
46:Are you afraid of heights?
No
47:Do you sing in the car?
Yes
48:Do you sing in the shower?
No
49:Do you dance in the car?
Yes
50:Ever used a gun?
Yes.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
September for my job's little book.
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Some of them are
53:Is Christmas stressful?
Not really
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
Ok now I want one, yes I have had some before, the mini ones are my favorite
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Cherry
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be librarian
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
I believe in spirits, dead people's souls still walking around? No
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes
59:Take a vitamin daily?
Yes I do! It's freaking awesome too! It helps my hair, nails and my skin.
60:Wear slippers?
No
61:Wear a bath robe?
It's not really a bathrobe
62:What do you wear to bed?
Tshirts, nightshirt, or night gowns
63:First concert?
Spice Girls
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
TARGET
65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Fritos
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No
69:Ever take dance lessons?
Yes and still do
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Not really, he is doing what he loves already
71:Can you curl your tongue?
Yes
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
I came in 2nd place
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes
74:Own any record albums?
I actually do
75:Own a record player?
One
76:Regularly burn incense?
No
77:Ever been in love?
Yes
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
I WANT TO SEE KE$HA AGAIN!!! Bonnie McKee wouldn't be so bad either.
79:What was the last concert you saw?
Jim Brickman
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
hot
81:Tea or coffee?
Tea
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Sugar
83:Can you swim well?
Yes I was a lifeguard
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes
85:Are you patient?
Sometimes
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
DJ but really neither.
87:Ever won a contest?
Yes
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
No
89:Which are better black or green olives?
Green
90:Can you knit or crochet?
Knit
91:Best room for a fireplace?
Basement
92:Do you want to get married?
Yes
93:If married, how long have you been married?
N/A
94:Who was your HS crush?
Elle's boyfriend David.... ---- So sad Hunter that our answers are the same and look who he is married to.
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
If it helps but that's mostly towards my dad.
96:Do you have kids?
Nope
97:Do you want kids?
Yes but NO MORE THAN 2
98:Whats your favorite colors?
Glitter, Pink, Blue, Purple, Silver, Green, Yellow,
99:Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes
I tag:
My crush went on a date with me because I did his Math homework.
1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
Open
2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Yes
3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Both I prefer in though.
4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Can't say I even knew that was a thing.
5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
Yup I have special ones!
6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Sometimes. I use a good bit of mine.
7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Well let's see Bees... There's a chance of me living with that one
8:Do you have freckles?
No
9:Do you always smile for pictures?
No I don't
10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
Exaggerating, people who don't keep their dogs on leashes, tied, or in a fence (seriously pisses me off my German Shepherd didn't ask your freaking dog to come to her fence), people who ask inane questions in class when it's time to go, cursing in public place where kids are (P.S. Black chick in line behind me in Target nobody cares that you feel like you were a booty call to that pile of shit you dumped.), Flip Flop wearers that have cracked feet. I managed to wear sandals and flip flops and do not have that problem, lotion at night people!
And my biggest two.....
1)YOUR KID IS NOT 15 MONTHS! They are a year and 3 months!
2) "We're pregnant." Then you have fucking issues and are sharing a uterus.
2) "We're pregnant." Then you have fucking issues and are sharing a uterus.
11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
Only going up stairs
12:Have you ever peed in the woods?
Yes
13:What about pooped in the woods?
Can't say I have. Now in a bucket going down the interstate is a different story.
14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
Yes
15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Nope
16:How many people have you slept with this week?
Sexually? Just Odette. Lmao Jk. Jk
Slept in the same bed? Odette
17:What size is your bed?
California King
18:What is your Song of the week?
Want U Bad - Ke$ha
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Never really watched them except Disney cartoons
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Napoleon Dynamite
17:What size is your bed?
California King
18:What is your Song of the week?
Want U Bad - Ke$ha
19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Yes
20:Do you still watch cartoons?
Never really watched them except Disney cartoons
21:Whats your least favorite movie?
Napoleon Dynamite
Ted
Bruno
22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
In a tub of glitter
23:What do you drink with dinner?
Depends
24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
All kinds of sauces
25:What is your favorite food?
Italian and chicken
26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Gone with the Wind, The Outsiders, Brief Encounter, Walk to Remember, The Rules of Attraction, Wake, and Beauty and the Beast
27:Last person you kissed/kissed you?
Honestly? Hunter A kiss that meant something? Frankie
28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
Yes
29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
I won't say no completely
30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
Two days ago so my baby sister could receive snail mail.
31:Can you change the oil on a car?
Nope I get Hunter to do it.
32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Nope. I get out of them all the time.
33:Ever ran out of gas?
No
34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
Anything fancy
35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
Waffles and chicken
36:What is your usual bedtime?
Depends on where I am in my book
37:Are you lazy?
I can be.
38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I went as many different things, princess, angel, Britney Spears,
39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
Snake
40:How many languages can you speak?
5
41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
5
42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos
43:Are you stubborn?
Yes
44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
Leno but Jimmy Fallon will be the best! ---- I agree
45:Ever watch soap operas?
I did in college
46:Are you afraid of heights?
No
47:Do you sing in the car?
Yes
48:Do you sing in the shower?
No
49:Do you dance in the car?
Yes
50:Ever used a gun?
Yes.
51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
September for my job's little book.
52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Some of them are
53:Is Christmas stressful?
Not really
54:Ever eat a pierogi?
Ok now I want one, yes I have had some before, the mini ones are my favorite
55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
Cherry
56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
I wanted to be librarian
57:Do you believe in ghosts?
I believe in spirits, dead people's souls still walking around? No
58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
Yes
59:Take a vitamin daily?
Yes I do! It's freaking awesome too! It helps my hair, nails and my skin.
60:Wear slippers?
No
61:Wear a bath robe?
It's not really a bathrobe
62:What do you wear to bed?
Tshirts, nightshirt, or night gowns
63:First concert?
Spice Girls
64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
TARGET
65:Nike or Adidas?
Nike
66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
Fritos
67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
Peanuts
68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
No
69:Ever take dance lessons?
Yes and still do
70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Not really, he is doing what he loves already
71:Can you curl your tongue?
Yes
72:Ever won a spelling bee?
I came in 2nd place
73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
Yes
74:Own any record albums?
I actually do
75:Own a record player?
One
76:Regularly burn incense?
No
77:Ever been in love?
Yes
78:Who would you like to see in concert?
I WANT TO SEE KE$HA AGAIN!!! Bonnie McKee wouldn't be so bad either.
79:What was the last concert you saw?
Jim Brickman
80:Hot tea or cold tea?
hot
81:Tea or coffee?
Tea
82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
Sugar
83:Can you swim well?
Yes I was a lifeguard
84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
Yes
85:Are you patient?
Sometimes
86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
DJ but really neither.
87:Ever won a contest?
Yes
88:Ever have plastic surgery?
No
89:Which are better black or green olives?
Green
90:Can you knit or crochet?
Knit
91:Best room for a fireplace?
Basement
92:Do you want to get married?
Yes
93:If married, how long have you been married?
N/A
94:Who was your HS crush?
Elle's boyfriend David.... ---- So sad Hunter that our answers are the same and look who he is married to.
95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
If it helps but that's mostly towards my dad.
96:Do you have kids?
Nope
97:Do you want kids?
Yes but NO MORE THAN 2
98:Whats your favorite colors?
Glitter, Pink, Blue, Purple, Silver, Green, Yellow,
99:Do you miss anyone right now?
Yes
I tag:
Day 2: In 10 Years
Let's say I agree to age 10 years. Trust me once I turn 29 that's it for me.
I want to be living it up still making everything sparkle. (Hey I just learned how to make HOT PINK CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES. Frankie and I both win!)
Frankie and I will be married.
Maybe a baby cookie monster or two. How cute would they be? And if God decides that's not okay well we will always have the fur babies and the big furry horse (Frankie's sheep dog named Monster.)
I want my kitchen redone by then. I want everything to sparkle!
Frankie and I will be entering dance competitions.
I want to have the same job because I love teaching. I think I would be heartbroken if I didn't get to see those smiling faces everyday.
I still have so many places I want to travel to and travel to again.
I want to be changing the world by literally going to hospitals and giving the girls tiaras and the boys capes. (Or whatever they want really)
I want to keep running marathons because it makes me so happy.
I really want to push finding out about Crohn's.
And I want to sponsor two children in underprivileged countries.
And my ultimate goal for the next 10 years is to become a Proverbs 31 Woman. That's what I want to do so badly.
Australia Haul
One Honey Boutique
Lime Crime "Piscies" Zodiac Glitter
Lime Crime "Libra" Zodiac Glitter
House of Holland Fishnet Alphabet Tights in Silver
Disney Couture Minnie Mouse Drop Earrings w Pearls - These are Hunter's going away present. She was with me when I bought them so I don't mind adding them to the haul.
Disney Couture Mini Mouse Stud Earrings in Black & Fuchsia
Nicole by OPI Kardashian Kolors - Wear Something Spar-Kylie
Runway Girls
Ally
ZigZag Boob Tube Dress
Lace Deep V Playsuit
Deep V Leopard Bodysuit
Tie Front Shirt
Sequin ZigZag Skirt
Leopard Print Leggings
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Day 1: Relationship Status
In my life I've had various boyfriends. I've had the jock, the bad boy, the geek guy I pretty much used and he used me too, and the class-clown. I always figured (probably because of my parents) I would end up with a lawyer, doctor, or business guy that didn't really care about me. Knowing that my dad said it would be good for me to have a guy like that bothered me. Was I that shallow? Moving out and moving out on my own was the best thing for me and my future relationships.
I had been working at a daycare for a year before this shy quiet girl started working along side me. I hated her to begin with at work. Her accent annoyed me and she was so timid around everyone including the kids. I finally told her either suck it up or give up because she really sucked at her job. +Odette and I became fast friends after that.
She started dating this hunk of a guy. Absolutely perfect, business man, several degrees, nice groom, and was willing to crawl on the ground for Odette. I told her one day I wish he had a brother. "He does." I told her too bad it wasn't a twin though. "He is." I stood there dumbstruck. I wanted to meet him.
Second shock, I received, was that he lived in an assisted living village. I realize now I was that shallow. How could someone who was Mini Hulk's twin be in an old people's place. Odette told me to go buy cookies and we were going to visit him. I bought American Cookie Co. cookies which are my favorite and we went to the place. I figured we were going to go to a little "house" like everyone else was who was visiting was going to, however, that wasn't the case.
Odette parked outside the main building. Fear gripped me that day. I just wanted to go home and wallow in self pity. When we stepped inside the first thing I noticed was that there were a bunch of people gathered near the piano player. The guy had a gorgeous voice as he played I was mesmerized. Odette grabbed my hand as he started playing another song. I was upset because I thought we were heading toward the reception desk. Instead we were heading straight for the piano.
We finally got at an angle where I could see him and if I thought I was mesmerized before hand I was in complete shock. I remember the words he sang when he first seen Odette and I coming toward him.
Sometimes it's so hard to believe when the nights can be so long. And, faith gave me the strength and kept me holding on.You are the love of my life and I'm so glad you found me.He finished the song and everyone clapped and clapped. He didn't look like he should have been there in an assisted living area. Minus being really skinny, he was gorgeous and healthy looking. Back then he had a beard and mustache but his playful eyes and long fingers is what captivated me. And then he smiled, and I wanted to just melt.
Odette introduced us and he automatically said "So you are the one obsessed with my brother." And pop. I honestly think that was the moment that change everything. I felt deflated. I liked this guy at first glance and it had nothing to do with him looking like his brother. My chances were gone in seconds.
I merely nodded because if I had talked I would have cried. I handed him the cookies and he looked so excited. I couldn't help but giggle at him. He talked to Odette awhile and he would ask me simple questions to keep me in the conversation.
We left and time went on. I would see and hear from Frankie from time to time. I started learning about what was wrong with him. Finding out he had Crohn's. I began to research and research and talk to my mom, who was a pediatrician.
Second pop to my chances was a day that Frankie was visiting and he was texting someone and he got to feeling terrible. I was scared. He turned so red and I don't believe contortionist can curl into a ball like he can when he is in pain. I found out why he had that episode was because of his ex giving him hell. I found out about his ex girlfriend who basically caused him to be stressed the whole.
Small rant: What girl bitches about her boyfriend feeling good when he is usually in the hospital, yet he builds her a house? Someone explain that to me. Who bitches at the fact he is always in the hospital because he is stressed? Small rant over.
One day Odette disappeared because she wanted alone time. Frankie and I were in the living room talking and he started flirting and I flirted right back. At this time I had two stupid, narrow minded, no good for anything, stupid deadbeat guys after me. I hate both of them. One thought he was a catch when really he was white trash and his brain was gibberish. The other one wasn't dumb, he just had a terrible attitude and sucked at life.
Where those guys thought that talking to me was a way of keeping my attention in reality it made me realize I didn't want a deadbeat. I wanted someone who was fighting and living. Living with an actual purpose to life instead of whining about how crappy their lives where. I had my own issues.
Frankie was there the last time I truly went wild with cutting. I have cut a few simple times since but nothing severe anymore. His brother was the one that saved my life that morning but Frankie was the one that changed my world after that.
I mean he created this special note for me on Facebook.
That was December 1, 2012 and he asked me out December 30, 2012 and I was blissfully content that trip at Disney World out on the Boardwalk.
We started out kind of rocky because the two creeps wouldn't leave me alone until I finally stop talking to both of them. After that things really started going in our favor. I learned to take care of him and his Crohn's. We learned how to cook together. We pile up anywhere and we read together and to each other. We go shopping. Sometimes we go shopping at the consignment shops and we try on ridiculous outfits. My favorite nights are when he is feeling good and we spend hours at his piano with candle lit while he serenades me.
We even went to Hawaii together and I swear I had never felt more in love than moment I was snuggled in his arms the sun was setting and he was reading Sand Dollar: A Story of Undying Love by Sebastian Cole while we were in a hammock. I remember I took a deep breath and he asked me if everything was alright and I started crying. He just hummed and rocked me after that. I remember my finger trailing down down his 20 inch scar where his stomach had staples in it at one time. He lifted my finger to kiss it and told me everything was fine. That was the moment I knew there was no one else.
Almost a year later after he asked me out at Disney World we were at Disney World again in the New Fantasy Land and Frankie he doesn't feel good but told me to go on. Come to find out he really wasn't feeling good but there was a huge reason why. Chris said that we had special tour of the new Beauty and the Beast Castle. And we go into the room where the library is and there is Frankie with Belle and the Beast. It still didn't dawn on me until Frankie got down on one knee what he was doing. My favorite part that hardly anyone knows beside us until now is that when he hugged me, after I said yes, he started softly singing....
I look in your eyes I'm lost inside your kiss.I think if I'd never met you bbout all the things I'd missed. Sometimes it's so hard to believe when a love can be so strong. And faith gave me the strength and kept me holding on. You are the love of my life and I'm so glad you found me. You are the love of my life. Baby put your arms around me. I guess this is how it feels when you finally find something real. My angel in the night you are my love, love of my life.
He pulled out a cookie and gave it to me and said, "This is my last cookie from this morning." My Cookie Monster.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
My Monster Has A Monster
Everyone calls my boyfriend Cookie Monster because all he eats is cookies. Well there is a reason why he loves cookies so much. Cookies are what kept him alive. No joking, he has a terrible disease called Crohn's. For the longest of times nobody could diagnose him. He would have knots in his stomach (literally) and would have blood coming out of him.
He was an amazing basketball player (still is one on his good days with no flare ups and knees ok) and is 6" 4' and when a person of that height gets down below 90 lbs life starts to go down drastically. He couldn't eat anything or he would have a flare up and be in a lot of pain. Doctors were no help to him. He would just curl up and wish the pain away. Then it was his birthday and someone gave him a cookie and he ate it and it didn't make his stomach hurt at all. Let's just say the rest is history on the cookie subject matter.
Things have changed because 4 years ago he went to a specialist in Atlanta.The surgery they performed was a day surgery. Frankie says he feels like a new person. He still has flare ups with certain occasions but we have both learned what he can and can't eat still and keeping his stress level at a real low.
What is Crohn's like for him? Considering Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease and it usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum; Frankie has had it rough. He said he will have mouth sores, his stomach will shrink and cramp, and he has had fistulas and fissures.
He knees are what keeps him from playing basketball a lot. He has arthritis in them thanks to Crohn's. At times there is nothing that can stop the pain. Even a powerful of steroid cannot help him at time. Watching him twist and almost scream stabs my heart like nothing else. Sometimes when he is wishing death as there is sweat on him everywhere and his knuckles are white as he grips whatever he can I feel like a total waste to him.
Considering I have started this post with his approval I am going to give you the hard facts. He be will constipated and enemas are his friend. He was so red the first time he asked me to give one to him I thought his face would catch on fire. Honestly, our relationship was strengthen because he knew that I would protect him and take care of him. I do.
How do I protect him? Well I am the first one to tell a waitress if they get his order wrong. I'm the first one to dare someone to give him something spicy. I'm also the one that dares anyone to make fun of him the days he has to wear adult diapers because he had to take a muscle relaxer.
You want to see me go off? Make him stressed out. I will walk all over you and then try to back over you with my car. I have gotten right up in a complete stranger's face because they stressed Frankie out for no reason. Because let me tell you emotional damage to him causes him physical pain and not his head his stomach!
There is no medically accepted pharmaceutical or surgical cure for Crohn's disease. Treatment options are restricted to controlling symptoms, maintaining remission, and preventing relapse. Some people have relapsed from it just like they do cancer. Years later the symptoms come back.
There is no cure for Crohn's disease and remission may not be possible or prolonged if achieved. Sometimes when remission happens relapse can be prevented and symptoms controlled with medication, changes in life, and in some cases, surgery. In some cases where Crohn’s treatments have worked the disease may not significantly restrict daily living.
For a lot of people it's a taboo subject of what's wrong with him because it deals with him going to the bathroom. For him it makes dealing with his situation worse when people are grossed out by their problem. There are things you shouldn’t say to people who have lost a child, has AIDS, has cancer, or lost a limb. And there are things for people suffering from Crohn’s that they don’t want to hear. "Why do you have a handicap tag? You don't look handicap." “That’s gross.” “You look great.” “You can’t always be this tired.” “You don’t look sick.” “You have to go bathroom again?” “You have to eat more than that.” “Just try this.” “You can’t eat that but you can’t eat this?”
He was an amazing basketball player (still is one on his good days with no flare ups and knees ok) and is 6" 4' and when a person of that height gets down below 90 lbs life starts to go down drastically. He couldn't eat anything or he would have a flare up and be in a lot of pain. Doctors were no help to him. He would just curl up and wish the pain away. Then it was his birthday and someone gave him a cookie and he ate it and it didn't make his stomach hurt at all. Let's just say the rest is history on the cookie subject matter.
Things have changed because 4 years ago he went to a specialist in Atlanta.The surgery they performed was a day surgery. Frankie says he feels like a new person. He still has flare ups with certain occasions but we have both learned what he can and can't eat still and keeping his stress level at a real low.
What is Crohn's like for him? Considering Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease and it usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum; Frankie has had it rough. He said he will have mouth sores, his stomach will shrink and cramp, and he has had fistulas and fissures.
He knees are what keeps him from playing basketball a lot. He has arthritis in them thanks to Crohn's. At times there is nothing that can stop the pain. Even a powerful of steroid cannot help him at time. Watching him twist and almost scream stabs my heart like nothing else. Sometimes when he is wishing death as there is sweat on him everywhere and his knuckles are white as he grips whatever he can I feel like a total waste to him.
Considering I have started this post with his approval I am going to give you the hard facts. He be will constipated and enemas are his friend. He was so red the first time he asked me to give one to him I thought his face would catch on fire. Honestly, our relationship was strengthen because he knew that I would protect him and take care of him. I do.
How do I protect him? Well I am the first one to tell a waitress if they get his order wrong. I'm the first one to dare someone to give him something spicy. I'm also the one that dares anyone to make fun of him the days he has to wear adult diapers because he had to take a muscle relaxer.
You want to see me go off? Make him stressed out. I will walk all over you and then try to back over you with my car. I have gotten right up in a complete stranger's face because they stressed Frankie out for no reason. Because let me tell you emotional damage to him causes him physical pain and not his head his stomach!
There is no medically accepted pharmaceutical or surgical cure for Crohn's disease. Treatment options are restricted to controlling symptoms, maintaining remission, and preventing relapse. Some people have relapsed from it just like they do cancer. Years later the symptoms come back.
My Frankie is one of those people. He used to live in an assisted living village. Now he has a nurse that comes three times a week and is on call. He hates bothering her though so unless he is in severe pain he doesn't call her.
I have spent many nights asleep on a palette outside his bathroom door because he literally could not leave the bathroom. Yup we are not the couple that thinks the other doesn't poop. Well that's because literally poop is a huge part of our lives. We know what toilet paper feels good and what wipes are not soppy wet.
Does Crohn's affect our dating? Yes and no. We aren't really outgoing couple. We learned early on in our relationship that me reading to him was amazing or him playing me a concert on the piano makes me feel like we just ate at 5 star restaurant. We try to go out sometimes but I always make sure that there are well accessible bathrooms. I know sometimes he can get stress because of where we are and I always remind him that I'm there and there is no reason to be stressed out.
He has to keep a food diary and I help him with as much as possible once I learned how important it is to notice when new flare up comes from certain foods. Grilled chicken or Parmesan chicken his favorite. Those and cookies I can make without burning them or the house down.
I have heard so many snarky people tell him that he isn't handicap to the point he had it put on his real tag which I know embarrasses him. I know some woman never seen it coming when she said "That's wrong with young people they think they should special privileges like older people." I point blanked stopped her and she was a little shocked that I stopped her. She simply said, "Neither of you look handicap." Frankie had already left because he had to go bathroom really bad, hence why we parked there otherwise we wouldn't have. I took a deep breath, "And you don't look stupid but looks can be deceiving. He has a disease where he has to run the bathroom." She was staring at me as I walked passed her calling her a dumb bitch. He even has to get a special tag at Disney World so he can jump out of line and go to the bathroom. I know it embarrasses him. That's why I want a cure for him so bad.
Right now he is finding a good balance of a healthy protein diet, yoga, dancing, and meditation. He still has flare ups from time to time from stress or a certain food. We make it work as a couple. I am on a trip around the world right now and I can honestly I have been worried constantly that my iPad or phone going off his brother calling me to tell me something bad. But I just pray and go on. I cannot wait to marry my Cookie Monster.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
▲TMI Tag▼
1: What are you wearing?
Staple Crinkle Bandeau Top
2: Ever been in love?
Yes
3: Ever had a terrible breakup?
Nope
4: How tall are you?
5' 7"
5: How much do you weigh?
123 lbs (seriously)
6: Any tattoos?
Two
Carpe librum and La Belle et la BĂȘte
7: Any piercings?
6
8: OTP?
Harry and Hermoine
9: Favourite show?
I do enjoy the Originals still, but Downton Abbey is my favorite!!!!!!!
10: Favourite bands?
The 1975, Beatles, NSYNC, One Direction, Within Temptation, Fun., Green Day, Hurts, Maroon 5, Paramore, Pearl Jam, Pussycat Dolls, Queen, Shinedown, Simple Plan, Spice Girls, Sum 41, Three Days Grace, and 3 Doors Down
11: Something you miss?
Food from the 90s, little kids still having respect, people still respecting the Bible...
12: Favourite song?
Diana by Michael Jackson
13: How old are you?
294 months! (I only did this because I hate parents saying their kids are 15 months! They are a year old shut up!)
14: Zodiac sign?
Libra
15: Quality you look for in a partner?
Sweet and understanding
16: Favourite Quote?
"My dentist once told me that letting go is like pulling a tooth. When it was pulled out, you’re relieved, but how many times does your tongue run itself over the spot where the tooth once was? Probably a hundred times a day. Just because it wasn't hurting you doesn’t mean you didn't notice it. It leaves a gap and sometimes you see yourself missing it terribly. It’s going to take a while, but it takes time. Should you have kept the tooth? No, because it was causing you so much pain. Therefore, move on and let go"
17: Favourite actor?
Ian Somerhalder
18: Favourite color?
Glitter!
19: Loud music or soft?
Loud but I like soft while I'm reading
20: Where do you go when you're sad?
Bookstore or library
21: How long does it take you to shower?
30 minutes
22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?
3 hours
23: Ever been in a physical fight?
Yes
24: Turn on?
Amazing hair. Strong. Tender
25: Turn off?
Has his nose buried in a comic book or cards or checking himself out in a spoon or stretching the truth
26: The reason I started my blog?
I wanted to!
27: Fears?
Running out of books, Frankie being in pain, and being eaten alive
28: Last thing that made you cry?
Frankie having an episode the week before we left.
29: Last time you said you loved someone?
To Odes...
30: Meaning behind your blog name?
Glitter is wherever I am.
31: Last book you read?
Attachments by Rainbow Rowell
32: The book you're currently reading?
Beautiful Ruins by Jess Walter
33: Last show you watched?
Orange is the New Black
34: Last person you talked to?
Hunter
35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted?
Uh she's my mom
36: Favourite food?
mmmmm sandwiches
37: Place you want to visit?
Russia
38: Last place you were?
Bangkok
39: Do you have a crush?
Frankie!!
40: Last time you kissed someone?
ODES!!!
41: Last time you were insulted?
This morning
42: Favourite flavour of sweet?
Blueberry or watermelon
43: What instruments do you play?
Piano
44: Favourite piece of jewellery?
I love all of my jewelry but my engagement ring takes the cake
45: Last sport you played?
Tennis
46: Last song you sang?
Let It Be
47: Favourite chat up line?
Mind if I check you out?
48: Have you ever used it?
Nope never have. I would use "No one believes I am a librarian, maybe you should try to check me out."
49: Last time you hung out with anyone?
Right now
50: Who should answer these questions next?
Thursday, March 13, 2014
What's Up With Me 3/13/14
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Sand in Book
here |
This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen
Friday, March 7, 2014
What's Up With Me 3/7/14
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