Let Me Pencil You In

You Aren't Worth Enough For Pen.

I have had many planners over the years. There was the years when the school supplied a planner in junior high and I used it occasionally. The years in high school where I bought my own planner and it didn't work out.

Now I have found the perfect planner. I know the different ways to keep up with everything.

For work it has many advantages from me. I can keep track of when reports need to go out. Meetings can be planned out unless they are unexpected. Conferences with parents can be wrote down. Field trips that will take all day or that I need to dress a certain way for will be wrote down. Also seminars for the jobs as CEP credits.

For home life I can keep up with when I need to do deep cleaning of rooms, check fire extinguishers, smoke detectors, clean the dryer pipes, and clean the oven. When I need to rearrange furniture for special holidays. Also my new obsession (besides the planner) is getting organized. And also home projects like painting, or new pieces of furniture.

For Frankie, I can keep track of his medicines, when he has flare ups, when he has doctor appointments. I also can keep track of our date nights. And things we want to do together like different tastings and concerts. I also would love to keep track of his delivery days where I know it will just be me and Eloise since he will be out delivering. Who knows we may go with him a few times in the future!

For Eloise, of course I will keep up with everything EB related. Doctors appointments, medication, and bandages will all be on record. Keeping up track of more severe blisters in areas will also come in handy. Also for her I can keep track of milestones, first things and first things with us. Play dates I can also keep track of for her schedule. Also in my beautiful blue pen for her I can keep up activities in certain businesses for her. Like Barnes and Nobles has activities all the time for kids! Also any lessons Eloise takes.

For my fur babies I can easily keep track of appointments for them. Their birthdays, their grooming, their treatments, and their training. I love my dogs, they were my first babies so I have to keep them healthy too.

Meal planning will be a little different for my family. Our neighborhood has different dinner parties and we have friends invite us over all the time because they know Frankie and I aren't the best chefs or even cooks. I can however plan out Eloise's snacks and things of that nature.

For family things are more broad topic for the binder. I want to be able to have things written down like family portraits. Also family fun night where we do things together that isn't at home or we have a big fun night where everyone comes over and we play games and eat.

Social planning for me is quite simply I have things from my sorority. I volunteer a lot. I do things for church. Parties, showers, and teas of course are part of my schedule. Of course girls night out and in are going to be in there so we can celebrate!

Crafty things are new to me so I want to be able to write down a schedule for those types of things. For instance a list of projects I am working on that the products needs to be done by next week. Also different expos to go for scrapbooking and card making. Also keep track of certain sales and coupons too.

Pregnancy will come after November. I can keep track of appointments, symptoms, and different classes. I know there are a lot of support groups and I can write down their meeting times. Even after pregnancies I can get stickers for the baby's milestones!

Besides beauty sleep which I don't need a reminder about I know I will have to keep track of beauty appointments. From hair, nails, and waxings I can write them down and be extra happy that I remembered them and show up on time!

If you haven't already noticed, I am blogging more and more. I am starting to make sure I blog at least four to five times a week and sometimes more. I can just get a really wild and crazy hair and just blog sometimes. But I will keep ideas in my planner. Also our city does a blog meet up for the people who are serious about their blogging. I also hope to attend blogging seminars in the future and I can always write those ideas down.

Health is my last thing for me. I love to run and exercise (yes I am one of those people. Don't worry I didn't used to be one of those people.) I want to keep up with hydration, vitamins, how many miles I run each day or week. Also I can keep track of doctor's appointments, dentist appointments, dermatologist appointments, psychologist appointments (Though I am about to cancel her.), and gynecologist appointments.

Wedding is actually going to be a separate planner. I am just really anal about my wedding and there for I just can't bring myself to jot dot things in a planner I keep everything in but I will put a nice big sticker or paper block and write wedding over that square as a reminder!

Homeschooling will also have it's own planner. I am not doing the homeschooling. Frankie is doing the schooling. We have purchased a separate planner from Plum Paper Design in Atlanta, GA. It is excellent looking!

I know I mentioned this in the home section of plans but organizing has become a huge part of what I want to do. Between FlyLady and OrganizedLikeJen my world seriously looks like a five year olds closet when mom says he has to have his room clean in 5 minutes. So I am taking a few steps back and figuring out what exactly I want to accomplish and how to make my life more filling with this planner.

I have a lot ideas I want to incorporate into my planner. Here are a few from different people.

Medication List Laminated Snap in Page  - Frankie, Eloise, & myself.

Medication reminder stickers  - These are for me.

Weekly Pregnancy Stickers  - I cannot wait to use these!!!

25 Glitter shapes assorted pack - Just when I know I plan on sleeping for that time block.

Hand carved rubber stamp - Yorkie design - Dog grooming visits, food, and vet visits.

Best Friends genitals holding hands sticker  - Possible nights of conception.

Cherry Mini Stamp - I will do a cherry layout one week.

Bow Mini Stamp mint rubber - I'm going to buy six of these.... For the Sexy Six.

Owl Mini Stamp Mint rubber - I love this!

Mini Telephone Rubber Stamp Old Phone - I love this! Love it love it!

Glitter Red Washi Tape  - Looks pink to me but hey either way it's glitter and washi tape.

Glitter Blue Rhombus Washi Tape - So perfectly perfect glitter and diamonds.

Little One, Girl - 3 packs of mini stamps - I just love these!

Toddler in a Bath - For cute reminds about picking up bath items!

Miniature Cookies Paper Clips - OMG I LOVE THESE! So freaking dang cute and perfect

For Rectal Use Only' stickers. - Enema reminders and more.

tiny sticker for your schedule - I love these little things

Fresh Start Challenge Day 27: The Purple Emperor

Fly Away

I discovered this specie of butterfly not long after I stopped cutting. There are many reason to why I love the Purple Emperor, or Apatura iris. It's usually just found in Europe and Asia. I long to see one of these beautiful creatures up close and personal.

First of all, it's a butterfly. I love the Butterfly Project on Tumblr to help alleviate all of the self harm people on there. Including myself.

Second of all, the color. I love the purple on this particular butterfly. Purple is my third favorite color. Purple also has a special meaning to me now. The ribbon for Crohn's awareness is purple. Frankie means the world to me and if I can help support him in any way I will.

Lastly, the eye shapes at the bottom of the butterfly. I have printed a picture of this butterfly and have through my house. It reminds me that I have a butterfly watching me. Not only will harming myself result in a butterfly dying but I will be letting down my butterflies. Those and the people that love me. It really helps me through rough days of uncertainty. 

My Monster Has A Monster

Everyone calls my boyfriend Cookie Monster because all he eats is cookies. Well there is a reason why he loves cookies so much. Cookies are what kept him alive. No joking, he has a terrible disease called Crohn's. For the longest of times nobody could diagnose him. He would have knots in his stomach (literally) and would have blood coming out of him.

He was an amazing basketball player (still is one on his good days with no flare ups and knees ok) and is 6" 4' and when a person of that height gets down below 90 lbs life starts to go down drastically. He couldn't eat anything or he would have a flare up and be in a lot of pain. Doctors were no help to him. He would just curl up and wish the pain away. Then it was his birthday and someone gave him a cookie and he ate it and it didn't make his stomach hurt at all. Let's just say the rest is history on the cookie subject matter.

Things have changed because 4 years ago he went to a specialist in Atlanta.The surgery they performed was a day surgery. Frankie says he feels like a new person. He still has flare ups with certain occasions but we have both learned what he can and can't eat still and keeping his stress level at a real low.

What is Crohn's like for him? Considering Crohn's disease is a form of inflammatory bowel disease and it usually affects the intestines, but may occur anywhere from the mouth to the end of the rectum; Frankie has had it rough. He said he will have mouth sores, his stomach will shrink and cramp, and he has had fistulas and fissures.

He knees are what keeps him from playing basketball a lot. He has arthritis in them thanks to Crohn's. At times there is nothing that can stop the pain. Even a powerful of steroid cannot help him at time. Watching him twist and almost scream stabs my heart like nothing else. Sometimes when he is wishing death as there is sweat on him everywhere and his knuckles are white as he grips whatever he can I feel like a total waste to him.

 Considering I have started this post with his approval I am going to give you the hard facts. He be will constipated and enemas are his friend. He was so red the first time he asked me to give one to him I thought his face would catch on fire. Honestly, our relationship was strengthen because he knew that I would protect him and take care of him. I do.

How do I protect him? Well I am the first one to tell a waitress if they get his order wrong. I'm the first one to dare someone to give him something spicy. I'm also the one that dares anyone to make fun of him the days he has to wear adult diapers because he had to take a muscle relaxer.

You want to see me go off? Make him stressed out. I will walk all over you and then try to back over you with my car. I have gotten right up in a complete stranger's face because they stressed Frankie out for no reason. Because let me tell you emotional damage to him causes him physical pain and not his head his stomach!

There is no medically accepted pharmaceutical or surgical cure for Crohn's disease. Treatment options are restricted to controlling symptoms, maintaining remission, and preventing relapse. Some people have relapsed from it just like they do cancer. Years later the symptoms come back.

There is no cure for Crohn's disease and remission may not be possible or prolonged if achieved. Sometimes when remission happens relapse can be prevented and symptoms controlled with medication, changes in life, and in some cases, surgery. In some cases where Crohn’s treatments have worked the disease may not significantly restrict daily living.

My Frankie is one of those people. He used to live in an assisted living village. Now he has a nurse that comes three times a week and is on call. He hates bothering her though so unless he is in severe pain he doesn't call her. 

I have spent many nights asleep on a palette outside his bathroom door because he literally could not leave the bathroom. Yup we are not the couple that thinks the other doesn't poop. Well that's because literally poop is a huge part of our lives. We know what toilet paper feels good and what wipes are not soppy wet. 

Does Crohn's affect our dating? Yes and no. We aren't really outgoing couple. We learned early on in our relationship that me reading to him was amazing or him playing me a concert on the piano makes me feel like we just ate at 5 star restaurant. We try to go out sometimes but I always make sure that there are well accessible bathrooms. I know sometimes he can get stress because of where we are and I always remind him that I'm there and there is no reason to be stressed out.

He has to keep a food diary and I help him with as much as possible once I learned how important it is to notice when new flare up comes from certain foods. Grilled chicken or Parmesan chicken his favorite. Those and cookies I can make without burning them or the house down. 

For a lot of people it's a taboo subject of what's wrong with him because it deals with him going to the bathroom. For him it makes dealing with his situation worse when people are grossed out by their problem. There are things you shouldn’t say to people who have lost a child, has AIDS, has cancer, or lost a limb. And there are things for people suffering from Crohn’s that they don’t want to hear. "Why do you have a handicap tag? You don't look handicap." “That’s gross.” “You look great.” “You can’t always be this tired.” “You don’t look sick.” “You have to go bathroom again?” “You have to eat more than that.” “Just try this.” “You can’t eat that but you can’t eat this?”

I have heard so many snarky people tell him that he isn't handicap to the point he had it put on his real tag which I know embarrasses him. I know some woman never seen it coming when she said "That's wrong with young people they think they should special privileges like older people." I point blanked stopped her and she was a little shocked that I stopped her. She simply said, "Neither of you look handicap." Frankie had already left because he had to go bathroom really bad, hence why we parked there otherwise we wouldn't have. I took a deep breath, "And you don't look stupid but looks can be deceiving. He has a disease where he has to run the bathroom." She was staring at me as I walked passed her calling her a dumb bitch.  He even has to get a special tag at Disney World so he can jump out of line and go to the bathroom. I know it embarrasses him. That's why I want a cure for him so bad. 

Right now he is finding a good balance of a healthy protein diet, yoga, dancing, and meditation. He still has flare ups from time to time from stress or a certain food. We make it work as a couple. I am on a trip around the world right now and I can honestly I have been worried constantly that my iPad or phone going off his brother calling me to tell me something bad. But I just pray and go on. I cannot wait to marry my Cookie Monster.