Confessions: Take Me All The Way

Confession #1: I have Love Somebody as my alarm clock ringtone. It instantly makes me smile. Why? Because I feel the body heat of one of the most exquesite men on this planet. Disentangling myself from the sheet and him I realize that he has his hand is in my hair. It's sharp pain, but it's endearing. (And by the way, no he can sleep through a tornado coming through the house.)

Confession #2: Spending the first few moments of my morning staring at the sleeping form of the husband I always dreamed of and never thought he was real until this Italian stud stepped into my life, is something I do daily.

Confession #3: Seriously sex at night is so overrated. Morning sex heightens the day. Plus, it puts us in good moods as we race down the hall.

Confession #4: During the past month of dealing with a shock to our family make up our relationship together has gotten stronger. I realized this when he growls at people trying to come between us when used he would just whimper.

Confession #5: Seeing him willing to fight and being happy even though the hardship we have been through makes me realize how just lucky I am. He hurt with me but he is healed therefore he is now helping me heal.

Confession #6: I think waking up covered in glitter and confetti this morning made me realize that I needed to start living again.

Confession #7: Girls that are dead set on finding the worst in people they will find it. Go ahead and have the most boring and drab lives. I prefer to live flashy and wearing a smile that is real. You can have the life people pity. I love living the lives people wish they had!

Confession #8: It's the small things for me. It's waking up with his hand splayed on my stomach. It's watching spin his wedding ring on his finger. It's that tiny shy smile he gives me. It's the twirls in the middle of the hall with him...

...It's loving somebody, thinking about them every single day, and going all the way.....

Piano Man

Bam!

"Oops", a whisper heard through the house then some giggling, these are the noises that awoke me this morning. Then the familiar melody of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" wafted down the hall making me feel comforted even though the bright and scorching sun was shining in on my eyes on this extremely hot August day. Smiling and stretching while still lying in the bed I heard Frankie, Eloise, and Lena singing while Frankie's fingers found the keys effortlessly.

They were singing quiet in an attempt to make sure not to wake me. But Frankie had let the top of his grand piano slip from his fingers like usual and the banging of it hitting the rest of the grand piano had awoken me. Tears pricked my eyes as I heard the next melody arise from the piano, "Beauty and the Beast." I heard the girls get really quiet as Frankie quietly crooned out the lyrics. Flipping my hair and grabbing my robe from the bedpost and slipping on my slippers, I tipped toed quietly down the hall.

Standing in the archway, I saw an incredible view. My husband had Eloise perched on his left leg and Lena was sitting beside him on his leather bench in front of his grand piano. Frankie was playing so intently he didn't even notice me in front of them watching him play from memory instead one of his countless songbooks.

I glowed when Frankie finally felt my eyes on him. He didn't say a word but I felt invited to sit beside him. Lena made it more apparent that I was invited because she ran up to me and grabbed my hand and pulled me along. Frankie kissed me with such passion and love that my equilibrium was strongly affected. He started playing "Valentine." As I pulled Lena into my lap we started singing together.

I've dreamed of this a thousand times before
In my dreams I couldn't love you more
I will give you my heart
Until the end of time
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

And even if the sun refused to shine
Even if romance ran out of rhyme
You would still have my heart until the end of time
'Cause all I need is you, my Valentine
You're all I need, my love, my Valentine

Fresh Start Challenge Day 30: She Leaves a Trail of Glitter Wherever She Goes

Dear Self at 15:

Life seemed hard. School, cheerleading, abuse, and not being able to drive. Trust life will get suckier next year at sixteen. Cruelty of life will play in after that. Smoking will come too and the drinking will get harder. The cutting will get worse. The cutting will get horrible. You will want to die soon.


Dear self now:

Congratulations for putting the cigarettes down, for really applying yourself to work and school. And for finding someone who loves you for you. Who doesn't care that you had a baby. Who doesn't care that you can't run a washing machine. Doesn't mind your fur babies.

You are doing so well. You are going to be married soon and have tiny ones all over and it's going to be amazing with the cookies and the glitter.


Dear Future self:

You deserve a cookie. Married 15 years now, not bad. Kids are growing like weeds and Frankie is still hanging in there. You look fantastic and still rocking the glitter I see. You are still doing marvelous things! Keep reading!